


"What's the matter?"

by Honey_Deerling



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Kinda, Light Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, also what about the tramua, like dude, like guys, poor lloyd he gets possessed and he doesnt even get to kill morro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23485540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honey_Deerling/pseuds/Honey_Deerling
Summary: Lloyd couldn't quite tell anyone the exact reason he'd gone onto the deck of the Bounty.He does knows what it connected to, though, and he really, really wished he didn't, because otherwise, he wouldn't have gone into the cold night air.
Relationships: Lloyd Garmadon & Kai, Lloyd Garmadon & Morro, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 57





	"What's the matter?"

Lloyd couldn't quite tell anyone the exact reason he'd gone onto the deck of the Bounty

He really couldn't tell anyone, if they suddenly appeared.

He does know what it connected to, though, and he really, really wished he didn't, because otherwise, he wouldn't have gone into the cold night air. He could've been asleep, but instead, he's shivering from the cold air and passing the time by blowing out a cloud of white breath.

He shivers, more from fear than cold. He scolds himself. Its been a full month since Morro took his body, since he'd been forced to fight his friends. He's fine, really, most of the time.

It's just that, sometimes, when he's alone for too long, or he feels out of control for a second, or he and his friends get really hyped during sparring that he feels the worse.

Lloyd wraps his gray jacket closer around his body. It's really too cold to be out at all, especially at this altitude. Even during the day, your throat would hurt within seconds. Lloyd remembers how annoyed Kai had been. Kai's mood had improved greatly after he won sparring.

Lloyd winces. Kai had won because Lloyd froze up. 

Lloyd and Kai had been the last standing, with Jay tapping out and Zane and Cole having been defeated by Lloyd and Kai together.

_"Guess it's just you and me, Green Ninja." Kai grins, jabbing the blunt sword at Lloyd. Lloyd jumps back, grinning._

_"Guess I'm about to win, Fire Ninja," Lloyd retorts, using his own sword to jerk Kai's out of his hand. Kai makes a very angry noise, and Lloyd grins._

_"You so sure?" Kai asks, jumping high in the air, twisting, above Lloyd's head. Lloyd takes the opening to swipe Kai's legs from under him. Kai lands with a thud in his back, the air forced out of him._

_Lloyd's about to try and get finish him, and he swings the blunt sword so it's pointing at Kai's face. He's about to stop the fight and win, but his mind flashes back suddenly, and he's thrown back into a memory._

Lloyd coughs from the cold air. 

The memory was from when Morro was using Lloyd during the ice maze. When Morro had used Lloyd's body to swipe and fight Lloyd's friends. 

So Lloyd freezes, and he nearly panics outside of his mind, but Kai trips and pins him, and as Lloyd slams onto his back, he snaps back into the present as Wu announces that Kai had won. 

Lloyd heaves a heavy sigh. Frustration is building just under the surface. He can't he just get over it? He's been through much, much worse.

"Fuck!" Lloyd shouts suddenly, slamming his fist on the railing. The metal screeches as Lloyd's fist dents it. Pain shoots through his hand and he jumps back, crying out.

"Lloyd?" Lloyd spins around, and Kai is there, blinking in confusion and concern. 

Lloyd blanks on what to say completely. There's no explanation that doesn't make him look weak or weird or stupid or unfit to lead.

_What if they think I'm unfit to lead?_

Lloyd hadn't thought of that yet. No one had seen him on the nights where he stayed out of hours.

_What if they think I'm unfit to lead?_

He can feel himself spiraling into panic now, but he shoves it down, but his mouth runs before his head.

"I was just thinking, don't worry, I just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, y'know-"

"Lloyd," Kai says gently putting his hand over Lloyd's. "What's the matter?"

And now that someone's brought it up, Lloyd can hardly stop himself from crying suddenly.

"I'm fine," he says, giving Kai a weary smile. He hopes it works.

It doesn't.

"Lloyd, you don't have to lie," Kai says. He looks vaguely like he's in pain.

"I'm really fine." Lloyd says. "I Just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep."

"What about that?" Kai says skeptically, waving over to the dented railing.

Lloyd winces.

"I know why I won today," Kai said.

Lloyd's head snaps up. "Yeah, I hesitated." He hopes he sounds perfectly honest.

"Lloyd, you don't have to pretend you're okay after what happened-"

"Nothings bothering," Lloyd cuts him off. "Go to sleep," he encourages. "I'll be there soon."

Kai looks him up and down. "Really?" He says.

"Really," Lloyd promises. "Within the hour."

Kai nods slowly, very, very slowly, and takes a step back. "See you in a bit," he says, turning away and walking towards the rooms.

"See you in a bit," Lloyd echoes, gripping the railing again, looking over the mountain.

Even though he's not tired, he slips into the room a half-hour later and lays in his bed, and he tries to not toss and turn. He doesn't sleep, but the next morning Kai looks more relieved.

Lloyd decides the look on Kai's face is worth feeling horrible.


End file.
